


Bed of Roses

by stardust_20



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3214367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_20/pseuds/stardust_20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, SHIELD was a large organization. It was easy to avoid people you didn't want to see, didn't want to work with. Now all that's left are splinters and bringing in the stragglers can sometimes mean meeting up with people you never thought you'd see again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I long to believe

**Author's Note:**

> A big warning here for spoilers -- Dr. Andrew Garner, May's ex-husband will be featured in this story. He is apparently cast and filming for upcoming episodes of the show, but as I have seen nothing and know nothing about his story arc on the series, this story is entirely made up, save the character name. Anything happening in this story that ends up resembling the actual series is entirely coincidental.
> 
> This story takes place shortly after where the show left off for its mid-season hiatus, and though the Skye/Daisy Johnson story arc will feature largely on the show itself, it's taking a backseat in this story with barely even a hand wave to show it's happening. (And that's only if you look very carefully!) It is an entirely relationship-based story, focusing mainly on the Coulson/May relationship, with the other cast members being secondary.
> 
> I'm not completely finished the story yet, though it is winding down, so I'm not sure if it will be 2 parts or 3 yet. I do not own them and am making no money, just thoroughly enjoying playing in Marvel's sandbox. :)

“Agent May, the Director wants to see you in his office right away.”

May scowled at Billy but relaxed and let out a puff of air. “Looks like we’re done training for now,” she said to Skye, who picked up two towels from the bench and threw one at her. She dabbed at the sweat that ran down her temples as she drew in several deep breaths. “I’ll catch up with you later and we’ll finish this.”

“Aye-aye sir.” Skye smirked at May’s annoyed glare as she stalked away.

“You really enjoy needling her, don’t you?” Billy grinned.

“Love it.”

~ ~ ~ 

She knocked and pushed open the door without waiting for a response. “Okay I’m here, what’s so urgent that you needed to see me _right away_?”

Coulson’s face remained serious and it sent a punch to her gut. It must be bad, whatever it was, that he didn’t respond with amusement to her jibe. “I received a coded transmission earlier on a mostly-unused Shield frequency. The computer just finished decrypting it and I thought you should hear it.”

“All right.” May crossed her arms over her chest.

It was audio only.

_~This is an urgent message for whoever’s in charge of Shield now. This is Agent Andrew Garner, currently stationed in Papua New Guinea. I have two other agents with me and we’re stranded - Hydra has cut off all ways off the island and we’re running out of places to hide. Please send an extraction team as soon as possible as I don’t know how much longer we can hold out. Coordinates to follow~_

Coulson watched May as she listened to the message. Her eyes closed and a momentary wash of emotion spread across her face. He couldn’t quite read it and then it was gone and the stoic mask was back.

“May?” he said gently.

Her eyes opened. “I’ll go and get them.”

“Take someone with you. Partners, remember?”

“Can you spare Hunter? I might need his expertise.”

He nodded. 

“I’ll just get changed and get the small plane prepped. We’ll be out in half an hour at most.”

“I’ll get Hunter briefed and he can begin the pre-flight,” he added, knowing she would need to shower and that would buy her a couple of extra minutes.

“Thanks.” She turned and headed towards the door.

“May.” She stopped. “Are you okay with this?”

Now she turned back around to face him. “Of course. It’s a mission just like any other. Get in, get the people, get out.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“The job comes before personal feelings, Phil. You know that as well as I do.”

And boy howdy, did he ever. The job had always kept the two of them apart - the only regret he’d ever had in choosing a career with Shield. On the other hand, if he hadn’t, they never would have met and he wouldn’t have her in his life. Catch twenty-two.

“Whatever was between us is long over. It’ll be fine.”

He nodded, not entirely convinced. “Be careful.”

Now it was her turn to nod, and as their eyes met they both knew he didn’t just mean physically.

~ ~ ~ 

After two hours of absolute silence, Hunter finally decided to take matters into his own hands. May was habitually quiet but not like this. Coulson hadn’t given him any details about the people they were heading out to rescue but he’d be willing to bet there was something to know, and whatever it was, May knew it.

“So, what’s the deal here Agent May? Are we walking into a particularly nasty situation?”

“No more so than usual, why?”

“Coulson didn’t say anything about it and you haven’t said boo since we left the base. I’m figuring this isn’t a standard op.”

“Well it is.”

“Who are we rescuing?”

“Dr. Garner, Agent Jennings and Agent Kramer.”

“Do you know them?”

She hesitated before answering, a tell-tale sign in his book. “I used to know Garner.”

“Oh? You’ve worked together before?”

“In a manner of speaking. He’s my ex.”

“Ex boyfriend?”

“Ex husband.”

Hunter sat back, nonplussed. “Oh.”

“What do you mean ‘oh’?” she demanded.

He looked over at her. “I never figured you for the marrying type.”

“Neither did I. It happened in a moment of insanity and didn’t last long.”

He looked at her through slitted eyes but said nothing. They were silent for the rest of the journey. May broke it some time later.

“We’re nearing the island. Check the coordinates again and pull out a map. I need to find a place to land.”

“On it.”

While he searched, she set communications to the channel Coulson had found the transmission on. “Dr Garner, are you there?”

After a brief pause there was a crackle. “Yes, yes we’re here. Is this Shield?”

“Yes. We got your message.”

“ _Melinda_ , is that you?”

May huffed under her breath and rolled her eyes. “Yes. Director Coulson sent us to get you.”

“Coulson’s the new Director?”

She could have sworn she heard both scorn and jealousy in his voice and it drew her ire instantly. “Yes he is,” she snapped. “Are the others with you and are you still at the coordinates you sent us?”

“Yes to both. How soon will you be here?”

She looked at Hunter who nodded. “Gather your things now. We’ll be landing momentarily and it shouldn’t take long to reach you after that.”

“Where are you? I don’t see anything in the sky.”

“And you won’t. Trust me, we’ll be there in under half an hour.”

His voice turned cold and businesslike. “Copy that.”

Through the corner of her eye May saw Hunter watching at her. 

“ _Doctor?_ You two were married and you’re not even willing to use his first name? That’s harsh.”

“Don’t start with me, Hunter. I’ll have my hands full once they’re aboard and if you give me any grief I will tie you up and take you home in the hold, chained to the rear bulkhead. Are we clear?”

“As crystal.”

~ ~ ~ 

Given the way her heart was pounding, it was almost anti-climatic when she and Garner actually came face to face. 

“Melinda May.” He looked her up and down. “It’s been a long time. Thanks for coming for us.” She nodded. His words were cordial but she could see the ice behind his eyes. “Let me introduce you to the rest of the team. Agent May this is Caitlin Jennings and Braden Kramer.”

“It’s good to meet you,” she said politely. She nodded towards Hunter. “Lance Hunter.”

“Nice to meet you Hunter,” Garner said, extending a hand. “Have you been with the agency long?”

“Ah, only a couple of months.”

Garner looked at May questioningly but his voice held a touch of humour. “You’re taking in strays now?”

“We haven’t had a lot of choice. Whatever you’ve heard about our situation, it’s worse. We’re welcoming any good people who are willing to stand with us against Hydra.”

Silence fell again. Caitlin Jennings spoke up. “It’s good to finally meet you, Agent May. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

 _I’ll bet,_ May thought, stiffening. She kept her mouth shut though everything inside her screamed, _don’t call me The Cavalry whatever you do. I just might snap!_ “We should get back to the plane and get out of here before anyone realizes we’ve arrived,” she said calmly. “This way.”

“Where is it?” Kramer asked. “I watched for it on the way down but I must have missed it.”

“That’s because it’s invisible.”

“What?”

“It’s cloaked.”

“Amazing.” Kramer was clearly the technical one of the group. “I can’t wait to hear how you pulled that off.”

“Well you’ll have to wait until we get back to base to talk to the guys who did it. I know nothing, I’m just the pilot.” May smirked.

“You’ve never been just anything, Melinda,” Garner said, falling into step with her. “There’s always more to you than meets the eye.”

“May,” she corrected shortly, knowing his comments weren’t flattery. “Call me May. No one ever uses my first name.”

“Not even Coulson?”

Her eyes cut over to him hotly but she kept her mouth shut and didn’t grace him with the words on her tongue. Now wasn’t the time. “Here,” she said brusquely, stopping suddenly and pushing a button on a ring around her wrist.

Out of seemingly nothing, a ramp slowly descended and the inside of the plane came into view. She mounted it without hesitation.

“Oh my god,” Jennings said, covering her mouth as her eyes went wide. 

Kramer’s response was much different. He smiled broadly. “Cool. It’s just like Wonder Woman’s jet.”

~ ~ ~ 

Hunter sat in front with her on the way back. May was well aware of the surreptitious glances he kept shooting her way. 

“What?” she said, not taking her eyes off the sky.

“What what?”

“God, this isn’t a Laurel and Hardy skit. Why are you staring at me and what do you want?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just thinking.”

“A new thing for you?” Her lips pulled up in a wry smile.

“Ha, ha, very funny. I was just thinking of how interesting it’s going to be, what with me and my ex and you and your ex working together.”

“I have no problem working with Bobbi.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

The words, identical to Coulson’s, made her smile. Few people, Coulson one of them, knew how she loved doing that - deliberately misunderstanding people to push their buttons.

Hunter was a particularly easy target.

~ ~ ~ 

Of course Coulson was on the hangar bay floor to greet them when they arrived. He’d declined to invite anyone other than Billy to join him, knowing the atmosphere would be tense and edgy when they arrived.

As the ramp lowered, the first person he saw was May. She looked professional as always, but he could see the tension lines around her mouth and the guarded look in her eyes and knew she was already hurting. He wondered what had passed between them on the journey back.

The other three followed her, a young man and woman he didn’t know, and Garner bringing up the rear.

“Welcome here,” he said cordially, shaking the hands of the two young agents. “It’s good to see some more friendly faces.”

Garner stopped in front of him and they stared wordlessly at one another. Neither man extended a hand to the other.

“Garner,” Coulson acknowledged.

“Coulson,” he returned, eyes flicking to May and then back.

The silence that fell grew a little too long for politeness so Coulson cleared his throat. “Billy, will you take our guests and find some quarters and a meal for them?” He smiled self-consciously. “Agent Koenig sort of runs things around here. I may be the Director but he’s really the one in charge.”

Billy grinned broadly, as if unaware of the tension in the room. “I’m the unofficial butler here. Sort of a jack-of-all-trades butler if you will.” He extended a chivalrous arm toward Jennings. “And who might you be?”

She smiled at his flirtation and introduced herself and her colleagues as the three of them walked away. Garner lingered behind, his glance questioning.

“You should get settled in too and get something to eat. We’ll meet later to talk,” Coulson said diffidently.

Garner nodded once, eyes darting back and forth between him and May before he hurried off to catch up with the others.

Once they were out of earshot, May let out a long breath. Coulson turned his head to meet her eyes and put a hand at the small of her back. “You okay?”

“I will be.”

~ ~ ~ 

May unconsciously stiffened when Garner came into Coulson’s office and sat down beside her.

“I hope the accomodations are satisfactory,” Coulson said, opening the conversation. “I’m afraid it’s not exactly a five-star hotel but it’s all we’ve got.”

“It’s fine. Very well-equipped for an emergency shelter, I must say.”

“Fury believed in being prepared for anything.”

“Except his own death, apparently.”

Coulson’s eyebrows rose. “It’s hard to see that coming and to prepare for it. I say this from personal experience.”

“Ah yes. I may have been out of the country for some time but I am aware of the circumstances of your death, Agent … I mean Director Coulson. I wonder how it is that Fury used a wonder drug to save your life when you died yet you didn’t reciprocate that favour at his demise … “

May’s anger prickled at the insinuation but she picked her words carefully, knowing Coulson wouldn’t want her to give anything away. “Fury left very specific instructions for us for after his death.”

“Us.” Garner’s eyebrows lifted and he tipped his head sideways to meet her gaze. “I didn’t realize you’d worked your way so far up the food chain, what with being semi-retired and all.”

“I’ve been Coulson’s personal bodyguard since his death and … resurrection, at Fury’s direct orders.”

“And I’m sure you’re guarding his body very personally, something you’ve experience with,” he added dryly.

Her temper, which she’d barely been keeping in check, flared, and she opened her mouth to attack but Coulson forestalled her by rapping on the desk.

“Enough. Personal digs don’t belong here. We have work to do.”

Garner looked at May pointedly and though she knew exactly what he wanted, she remained firmly planted in her chair. Coulson obviously got the hint too. “May is my second-in-command. She’s a party to all dissemination of information.”

He didn’t look happy but shrugged as if he didn’t care. “If that’s how you want it.”

“That’s how it is,” Coulson said firmly. “Now tell me what happened on your little island.”

May barely heard a word of the story. Her mind drifted back into the past, memories of old conversations coming back disjointedly. 

_“You can’t even take two days off to come away with me for the weekend?”_

_“I’m working, Andrew. You know Phil and I are on a case right now. We can’t take time off until it’s settled.”_

_“Right. You and Phil.” His voice grew caustic. “Funny how you’re married to me yet you spend all of your time with him.”_

_“Andrew please try to understand. This is important.”_

_“So is our marriage. At least it’s supposed to be.”_

She’d known this reunion wasn’t going to go well. They’d parted on less than amicable terms, barely speaking to one another, and as her relationship with Coulson had been the reason, him not only being here but the two of them working closely together again was bound to spark the old jealousy in him. He was a good man and a good scientist, but he’d never been able to hold his tongue when upset and she knew she’d be hearing a great deal more from him yet. 

She wasn’t looking forward to it.

~ ~ ~ 

“So what do you think we should do with them?” Coulson asked after Garner had left.

“Hmm, what?” Her eyes swiveled back and focused on him, bringing her back to the moment. “I beg your pardon?”

He sat back and frowned. “Did you even hear a word he said?”

May bit her lip.

“I didn’t think so. You looked far away. Where were you?”

“Back in the past. Eleven years ago.”

“The year you and Garner were married.”

“And divorced.”

His gut churned though he kept a straight face. May’s whole relationship-marriage-divorce with Garner had hit him hard back then and clearly having the man who’d come between them, so to speak, (though there really had never been any _them_ ) back was bringing the emotions he’d thought buried right up to the surface again.

He had a feeling he wasn’t the only one.

“No one ever said it was going to be easy,” he comforted.

“Is life ever?” Her voice was small and its hollowness scared him just a little. 

“Facing the past is the toughest thing we can do and it’s only natural difficult feelings will rear their ugly heads again.” He smiled sadly. “You got through it before, you can do it again.”

She took a deep breath. “I know but I’m going to have to work extra hard to stay focused. My mind keeps wandering back and replaying the past, wondering if I said and did the right things or if I’d done things differently would it have ended with us together still.” 

“It’s time to deal with reality, May. What ifs are dangerous territory and we really don’t have time to be indulging in them.”

She smirked at the familiar words - this time thankfully not in the context of life and death. “You’re right.” She stood up and stretched. “I can’t let what happened in the past drag me down. It’s over now and I can’t change it.”

“That’s my girl.”

Their eyes locked and Coulson felt the electricity between them surge and catch fire, tingling through his body from his toes all the way up to the last hair on his head. _Oh no, not again._ He’d worked so hard all these years not to let the attraction between them start up again. It had been difficult enough dealing with his feelings when they’d been partners, especially after May had gone and married someone else. He’d loved her and wanted her in silent agony throughout their short, turbulent marriage, instead being the dependable friend and partner he’d believed she’d needed.

The fire had died down to embers as they’d gone their separate ways and he’d thought it was over for good; he’d moved on and so had she. This last year they’d been working together he’d had to work hard to keep her at arm’s length, often using anger and cold detachment to try to deter her from rekindling their once very close partnership. He wondered if she’d seen through it. Probably. She was one of the smartest people he knew, and one of the most observant. If she’d wanted to call him on it, she would have. May was nothing if not unafraid of confrontation.

But the almost visible sparks passing between them now and the sudden hunger in her molten brown eyes made him wonder anew if she really did feel the same way he did. 

Regardless, now was hardly the time to find out. He needed to be the supportive friend again as she worked her way through this crisis a second time.

~ ~ ~ 

Simmons sat in the corner of the lab watching Fitz glow in the presence of the two new agents. The man, Kramer, was clearly a techno-geek just like Fitz and the two already sounded like best buddies as they discussed the cloaking technology he and Mack had made for their planes. The woman, Jennings, was just as obviously in awe of him and was openly flirting with him. It didn’t sit well with her.

“Show me some of your other work,” Kramer encouraged eagerly. “This is amazing stuff. I would love to stay here and work with you.”

“Oh, I was, was … was going to a … a … ask for a transfer to another … um … fa … fa ...“

“Facility?” Jennings supplied.

He pointed at her. “Yes. Another facility.”

“Why? This lab is fantastic.”

He hesitated a moment, eyes flicking to Simmons and quickly back. “I’m not happy here,” he said slowly and carefully.

“I can’t imagine why not.” Kramer shrugged.

“It’s time for a ch … ch … change.”

“Well let me know where you’re going and I’ll ask if Garner will let me join you.”

“Is he your boss?” Simmons piped up, trying to join in.

“Technically no, I guess Coulson is as the new Director, but I’ve been working with him since I came out of the academy five years ago and I sort of feel like I owe him.”

“I can understand that. We feel much the same way about Coulson, though we haven’t been with him nearly as long.”

“I’ve heard he’s a good man to work with,” Kramer said, “though Andrew doesn’t have a lot of nice things to say about him.”

“I w… w… wonder why.”

Simmons shrugged. “We love him. He’s been a fabulous boss so far.”

“And yet you want to leave?” Jennings’ face screwed up in confusion.

Fitz looked down at the counter. “Not because of him.”

Sensing they’d hit an uncomfortable topic, Kramer cleared his throat and changed it by asking Fitz about some of the equipment in the lab. Simmons shrank back sadly, fighting tears as she left the lab unnoticed by any of them.

~ ~ ~ 

“I need to have a word with you.”

It was serendipitous that May ran into Garner in one of the lower hallways as she’d just been heading down to look for him. He was alone and there was no one around - no need to find a quieter place for their little chat.

“Really, you’re actually going to talk to me? That’ll be a first.”

“I’ve always had plenty to say,” she snapped.

“Then why didn’t you?”

She ignored that. “Whatever you have to say to me about the past, however you feel about me, you need to keep it out of our working relationship.”

His eyebrow arched. “We have one?”

“Comments like the ones you made in Coulson’s office are unacceptable.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Personal disagreements need to stay out of our work environment.”

“Perhaps you just don’t want to hear them because you don’t want to face the truth. Just like before, you’d prefer to stay silent and pretend it isn’t happening.”

“It was kind of hard not to see our marriage was falling apart.”

“I’m surprised you noticed.”

That was it, he’d pushed her buttons too far. “Of course I noticed! I wasn’t blind you know. What did you expect me to do when you accused me of being unfaithful?”

“Oh I don’t know, defend yourself maybe?” He took a step forward. “Not just stand there looking like a statue. If you’d have said something I might have thought you cared.”

“What good would it have done?” she exploded. “Would you have believed me if I told you you were wrong about us?”

He laughed scornfully. “Of course not. Everyone knew you and Coulson were doing the dirty. It wasn’t just me - I heard things from other agents too.”

She pressed her lips together tightly. “Just because people say things doesn’t make them true.”

“You spent every waking moment with him, Mel. How could there not be something going on between you?”

“There wasn’t. Phil and I were just friends, there was never anything more between us.”

Now it was his turn to cross his arms over his chest. “Then tell me why you used to call out _his_ name in your sleep?”

May’s mouth dropped open.

“You didn’t know? You often dreamt of him.” His voice turned to acid. “He was always there, even in bed with us, for god’s sake. Even your subconscious mind was focused on him. How were we ever supposed to make our marriage work when Phil bloody Coulson was always there between us?”

“I’m sorry Andrew,” she said softly. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you did.”

“I wanted to love you. I thought I did, I didn’t realize just how … “ She trailed off, eyes falling to the ground. “I never really understood what my feelings for Phil really were. I honestly thought he was just a friend.”

“You were in love with him, weren’t you?”

“I think I might have been,” she said slowly. “Maybe, I’m not even really sure. I’m not sure I really understood what love even was back then.”

“Do you now? Are you still in love with him? You’re still here, giving up everything else in your life to be with him. I heard you’d quit field work permanently after Bahrain yet here you are … working with Phil Coulson. Again.”

“You know what’s going on with Shield and Hydra right now. He needs me.”

“I’ll just bet he does.”

“That’s not fair.”

“What you did to me wasn’t fair either,” he hissed.

Her face turned a dull crimson and her eyes shuttered. 

“See? There you go again, withdrawing into yourself because you don’t want to face the truth. You know what the truth really is? I don’t believe you’re capable of caring for anyone but yourself. You never loved me. You didn’t love Coulson either, you just wanted him in your bed. It’s true what they say about you - your heart is just a chunk of ice. I wish I’d known that when I first met you ‘cause I would have turned and walked the other way.”

He did exactly that and stalked off, leaving her standing there feeling like she’d just been stabbed through the heart. _Now I know how Phil felt,_ she thought. _Except he was lucky - he actually died._

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

**TBC**


	2. Washed away by emotions I hold deep down inside

Coulson stood as stone, completely taken aback by the scene he’d just overheard on his way back upstairs from the armory. 

May’s marriage had failed because of _him?_ Garner believed May had had an affair with _him?_ Why had she never told him of Garner’s accusations? Maybe if she had, he could have done something to change the nature of their relationship that would have helped save her marriage so she didn’t have to go through that ugly divorce.

And why was Garner still so angry about it, enough to make snide comments and actually come out and attack her? Wasn’t eleven years enough time to let go of the past? May had - in fact he was quite proud of her efforts to not let it affect her and be professional with him. He knew, better than anyone, how deeply she internalized her hurts, covering them with layers of apparent indifference and detachment. She’d done well to keep the painful past where it couldn’t hurt her in the present.

Until Garner had come along and shredded her defenses, leaving her inner feelings exposed and vulnerable by raking her through the past again.

He dithered a few moments, debating whether or not to follow May and let her know he’d overheard the conversation, or to let it - and her go so she could deal with it herself. She’d never volunteered the details about her acrimonious divorce and it might embarrass her to know that he now knew. He didn’t want to do that either.

Eventually he decided on the former, as bad an idea as he knew it was, just because he wanted her to know he was there for her. She carried enough burdens, enough pain already; she didn’t need to add more by keeping all of this to herself. Again.

Of course by the time he’d finished taking the stairs and had turned the corner she was already gone. 

He sighed in frustration. He really needed to get these inventory numbers back up to his office and finish the task he was currently in the middle of, but as soon as he was done that he was going to search until he found her.

~ ~ ~ 

May sat in the pilot’s seat, unaware of the passing of time, knees drawn up to her chest, seeing nothing but the past replaying itself through her mind’s eye. 

She’d felt only numbness at first at Garner’s harsh words, but as they sunk in she thought about them more carefully and objectively and realized he’d been right about one thing anyway - she’d been in love with Coulson all those years ago.

At the time she’d attributed the butterflies in her stomach and the feelings of excitement at the thought of being with him to the job. She’d found _the job_ exciting and rewarding, and if she had a partner that was intelligent, good-looking and a lot of fun to be with, well that just made the job all that much better.

Now May realized those feelings hadn’t really been about the work, they’d been about spending time with Coulson. Their working partnership had been good and solid but it was the fun she’d had with him and the flirting they’d always engaged in that had made her love the job.

No wonder Garner had assumed the worst. She’d probably looked and sounded as excited as she’d felt every time a new mission came their way. She’d often talked of their exploits to him - omitting the flirting parts, but he was a smart man. He had to have read between the lines.

How could she have been so naive?

There was one thing May knew for certain, and that was that Garner was wrong about her heart of ice. She knew many people believed it, and with good reason, as she rarely let people anywhere beyond the surface, close enough to see the emotions she kept a tight rein on. Knowing Garner hadn’t been among the select few who had been allowed to see beyond the surface and truly _known_ her shamed her. She’d married him for better or worse, and had promised to share everything with him … but she hadn’t. She’d let him into her bed but had kept him out of her heart, like all the others she’d had flings with since the divorce.

Only one man had ever found his way into her heart, years earlier, and he’d never left. Garner was right: she was still in love with Phil Coulson.

She blinked rapidly but it did no good as the barriers within broke and hot tears spilled down her cheeks.

~ ~ ~ 

“Have you seen May?” Coulson asked urgently.

Skye shrugged. “Not since early this afternoon.”

His brows knit together. “If you see her let me know immediately, okay?”

“Okay.” She paused, looking puzzled. “Listen, I need to talk to you about - “

“Later,” he pleaded. “I promise we’ll talk about it later but right now I have to find May.”

“Okay,” she repeated slowly, somewhat miffed at his rebuff but her expression was wasted as he was already out the door.

He found her, after an exhaustive search, exactly where he should have expected to find her, in the only place she truly felt comfortable.

The cockpit.

The Bus had become her home during the previous year, the cockpit _her_ personal space, even more than her bunk. She sat, unmoving, arms encircling her drawn-up knees, staring at nothing. It worried him.

“May,” he said quietly, coming in and sitting in the seat beside her. She didn’t respond. “Melinda.”

That got her attention. She blinked and swallowed but didn’t otherwise acknowledge him. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her cheeks bright. Clearly, she’d been crying.

Coulson cleared his throat, unsure how to begin. “I have a confession to make.” He waited but still no response from her. “I was on my way up from the lower levels when I overheard you and Garner talking in the hallway.”

“You weren’t supposed to know.” The words were so quiet he could barely hear them.

“Why? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Finally she turned her head to him and his heart wept at the sadness in her eyes. “I didn’t want you to feel guilty.”

“Guilty? May, your whole world fell apart because of me. If I’d known, I would have tried to help - “

“There’s nothing you could have done,” she broke in.

“I could have _tried_. I would have done anything for you, you know that.”

“I know. Andrew knew it too. He also knew the one thing I hadn’t yet figured out, so it wouldn’t have made any difference.” She swallowed hard. “He knew I loved you, not him.” She turned back to look out the window. “How could I not have known? Not understood my own feelings? How could I have been so stupid, so naive?”

“You're not stupid May and you never have been. You were naive. We both were. We were young and it was a heady time for us, the excitement of finally getting to work out in the field, Fury trusting us with delicate missions … it’s not a wonder your emotions were on overload. Mine were too. It was hard to keep everything straight.”

“It doesn’t matter now. It was a terrible thing I did to him and he never recovered from it.”

He could almost feel the tears gathering behind her eyes. May did nothing by halves and that included her rare emotional outbursts. They always swept through her like a tropical storm, fierce and furious, leaving her shaken and drained. 

“That’s on him, May. It’s not your fault he never put it behind him and moved on. It’s been eleven years. You suffered a great deal too but you managed to put in the past and move forward.” She turned to face him suddenly. “I was your partner. I cared very much about you and I could see how unhappy you were.”

She blinked several times and bit her lip. “Yet you never asked,” she whispered. “You never asked why it ended.”

“I figured you’d tell me if you wanted me to know, but you didn’t so I let it go.” Coulson’s face grew stormy. “I wish I’d known. He needed someone to set him straight.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered. He wouldn’t have believed a word you said. He didn’t believe me and I was his wife, what incentive would he have had to believe you when he was certain you and I were lovers?”

“But we weren’t! His accusations weren’t true. He shouldn’t have gotten away with assuming things that weren’t true.”

“But they were.” Again her whisper was almost inaudible. “We may never have actually slept together but you were my partner, in everything but the bed.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “You were the one I wanted to be with. I betrayed him by loving you.”

The storm came then and she broke, sobbing into her knees. He picked her up - even though she was all muscle she was lighter than he expected - and brought her onto his lap, holding her tightly in his arms and stroking her back, burying his face in her hair while he whispered her name over and over.

She clung to him as the pain passed up and out from where she’d buried it, crying in a way he’d never seen before, even after Bahrain. The minutes passed, maybe even hours - he wasn’t sure, all he knew was the two of them sat together, swaying gently as she let out everything in her soul. His heart broke with hers, even as a part of him felt happy to know he was still her one refuge - the only person she ever allowed to see the pain she protected deep inside herself so fiercely. 

After a long time the sobs subsided into hiccups, then into deep, even breaths and he knew she’d cried herself out. Now she would sleep to renew the energy she’d expended and hopefully the purge would help her deal with the difficult situation at hand. He wanted to carry her to bed but knew he wouldn’t be able to get down the Bus’s difficult ladder whilst holding her, so he made do with the couch in the rec area, laying down with her atop him, gently resting her head on his chest as he folded his arms around her. 

Sleep took him as well, the scent of her hair the only thing his senses were aware of.

~ ~ ~ 

Skye boarded the Bus, not taking pains to be quiet until she reached the upper level where she stopped dead at the sight before her. She’d have turned and fled but her arrival woke Coulson whose eyes snapped open. He put a finger across his lips, motioning for her to be quiet, but it was too late as May was already stirring.

Skye had always known the two of them were close but in the year she’d been with them this was yet the most intimate scene she’d witnessed. May curled up in Coulson’s arms was the last thing she’d ever expected to see; but then her SO curled up in _anyone’s_ arms was something her imagination couldn’t even picture. Reason insisted May must have a softer side somewhere hidden deep inside - no one could be made of steel all the time - but she’d never imagined that one day she’d see May, a half-smile on her face, curled up in the Director’s arms, relaxed and happy as she slept. 

“I’m sorry to disturb you,” she whispered, “but Agent Garner’s been looking for you. He’s getting rather insistent.”

“He’ll find me when I’m ready to be found,” Coulson answered, voice just as low.

May opened her eyes and closed them again quickly, perhaps figuring if she couldn’t see Skye, Skye couldn’t see her. She was okay with that. It was a somewhat embarrassing moment for her; how must May feel at being discovered this way? Skye was just fine pretending it hadn’t happened. 

“I just thought you should know. What should I tell him?”

“Nothing. I’ll find him soon.”

There was a harshness to his voice that prickled up her spine but she ignored it and nodded, leaving them alone.

~ ~ ~ 

May stretched slowly and, surprisingly, made no hasty moves to get up. He breathed deeply, enjoying the feel of her in his arms as he stroked her hair.

“Better now?”

“A little.” Her voice was raspy with tears and sleep.

“Good.”

She raised her head off his chest and looked into his eyes. “Thank you for being here,” she whispered.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” He lifted a hand to her cheek and touched it lightly. “I’ll always be here when you need me, you know that.”

She smiled but there was a sadness behind it. “Then you’d better not die on me again.”

“I’m counting on you to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“I’ll have to stick close to you then.”

“I’ve never minded having you close.” The electricity crackled between them again and he had to physically restrain himself from leaning up and kissing her.

As if sensing they were dangerously close to crossing the line that had always existed between them, May moved away from him and stood up. “I should get cleaned up,” she said self-consciously.

Coulson nodded as he rose to his feet, stretching out the kinks. “I’ll go see what he wants.”

“Hopefully to leave and never come back,” he heard her murmur just as he passed out of earshot. 

_Amen,_ he thought. Anger at the thought of what Garner had put May through knotted him up inside and sparked his temper. _He’ll be finding somewhere else to be if I have anything to say about it._

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

TBC


	3. Give Us Strength To Try Once More

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It didn’t take long for him to find the man he was looking for. Garner was pacing the rec area, a thunderous expression on his face. A few others were in the room as well, wisely far away from where Garner was wearing holes in the floor, but Coulson barely noticed them.

He walked right up to his quarry, who opened his mouth and began demanding answers, and punched him solidly in the face. That stopped the tirade and began an entirely new one. 

“What the hell are you - “

Coulson interrupted. “How dare you say those things to May,” he growled in a voice none of the rest of him had ever heard him use. It was low and menacing and absolutely frightening. “How _dare_ you come here and drag her through all that pain again.”

“She came crying to you again did she? Just like she always does.”

Coulson punched him again and as Garner lifted fists to retaliate, hands grabbed both of them and held them away from one another. The punching match continued verbally. 

“You had no right to talk to her the way you did!”

“I have every right. She was my wife, dammit!”

“All the more reason to treat her with respect!”

“She didn’t respect our marriage vows, Coulson,” Garner spat. “And neither did you.”

Coulson took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, counting to ten as he struggled to hold his temper in. His words came, slowly and quietly, with as much force as if he’d continued yelling. “Yes I did. So did she. God knows, and I can’t deny how much I wanted her, but there was never anything between us.”

The angry flush remained on Garner’s face though his voice quieted several levels. “I heard stories about you two.”

“They were just rumours, not facts.”

“How do I know you’re not lying to protect her?”

“You’re absolutely right, I would. I would do anything to protect Melinda May from harm, physical or otherwise. But I’m telling the truth now and so is she. I loved her, Garner, more than the whole world itself, and I would have done anything for her. Given anything to have her.” He stopped and swallowed. “I did the hardest thing any man can ever do - when she chose you, I stood aside. I was her friend, her work partner, nothing more.”

“She always talked about you. Thought about you. Even in her sleep you were on her mind.” Garner’s voice was quiet and husky now but his eyes still shone with pain.

“I’m not saying she didn’t care for me - we were very close, there’s no denying that. But both of us respected the choice she made - at least consciously - and we never touched one another. Never. We’ve never been anything more than friends. Not then, and not since.”

The two men stood limply, anger mostly vented, sorrow now the permeating emotion on both of their faces. Coulson nodded at his people who let them both go.

“Never?” Garner repeated softly, straightening up and rolling the kinks out of his shoulders.

Coulson shook his head. “Never.”

“She was in love with you when she married me.”

“Perhaps. If so, that sorrow is on all three of us. We all loved someone we couldn’t really have. I know May cared deeply for you. Remember I saw her almost every day - she was happy with you. She married you because she thought you could make a life together. I know it was a mistake and it hurt both of you, but it’s not something she should be punished for for the rest of her life. It’s time to let it go, to let her go.”

After a fairly lengthy pause Garner spoke. “Is she really that upset at what I said?”

“I’ve only seen her like that once before. After Bahrain. And for the record, she didn’t come to me for comfort, she hid. That’s what she does - she doesn’t like to admit to pain or weakness so she goes somewhere to be alone with it.”

“But you found her.”

“I overheard you in the hallway,” Coulson confessed. “I was on my way up from the lower levels and I heard you yelling at one another. I knew she was feeling stressed at seeing you again, and after hearing those words I knew she’d be hurting and try to find a place to hide.”

“Why didn’t you leave her alone if that’s what she wants?”

“Because I know her well enough to know that while she might _want_ to be alone, that’s not what’s best for her. She carries too much of her pain alone already. She doesn’t like to share it with anyone but she needs to, for her own good.” He smiled sadly. “So I get in her face and make her share it with me.”

A look of sad understanding crossed Garner’s face. “She opens up to you and lets you help her.”

“That’s what friends do,” Coulson said softly. “I’ve always been May’s friend and I always will be, no matter who else or what else she chooses. I’ll always be there for her because I’m her friend and she needs friends. Even if she thinks she doesn’t,” he added with a sad smile. He looked around self-consciously, seeing all eyes on them. “Why don’t we go to my office and talk some more. I don’t know about you, but I could use a little privacy.”

Garner bobbed his head. “As long as you promise not to use fists in that conversation.”

Coulson smiled apologetically. “I’ll get you an ice pack for that eye.”

~ ~ ~ 

_“I loved her, Garner, more than the whole world itself and I would have done anything for her. Given anything to have her.”_

May turned away from the common area and headed back down the hallway. Had she just heard what she thought she’d heard? Phil had been in love with her all those years ago?

Her head spun. If only she’d known … all the pain she’d caused with her marriage to Garner … it all could have been avoided if they’d both just been honest and open with one another. Not that they hadn’t been, most of the time, but apparently they’d both kept things back.

She rubbed the heel of her hand against her breastbone to quell the ache that was beginning there. _Phil Coulson had loved her_. He’d loved her enough to step back and watch her make the biggest mistake of her life, and then help her through it when it all fell apart. The man was truly superhuman to be able to do that without ever letting slip how he really felt.

No wonder Fury had saved him from death.

She made her way back to her room by some of the lesser-frequented halls in the hope she wouldn’t see anyone along the way. She thought she’d succeeded but when she opened the door and slipped inside she instantly noticed the figure sitting cross-legged on the bed.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded.

Skye met her angry eyes with cool ones. “Waiting for you.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” May knew she was being harsh but her emotions were too close to the surface, too raw, and she couldn’t quite control them.

“That’s what you do, isn’t it, when you don’t want to deal with something? Push people away and put up those walls so no one can come close enough to touch you.”

May’s eyes slitted as her temper surged. “You think you know me?” she hissed.

Skye remained calm. “I really think I do. You’re not the only one who has eyes, you know. You’re not the only one who observes people. I think I’ve gotten to know you pretty well, Agent May.” She stopped for a breath. “He still loves you, you know.”

“What? Who?”

“Coulson. He’s still in love with you.”

“What makes you think that?” May crossed her arms over her chest and held her chin high. It was a pose designed to look arrogant but this time she did it to hold back her pounding heart, apparently trying to break right out of her chest.

“What was I just saying about having eyes? I’ve been watching you and Coulson since I joined the team. Obviously there’s a lot of history between you two, but it all makes a hell of a lot more sense in the context of your past relationship.”

“You heard him and Garner talking?”

Skye gave her The Look. “Talking is a nice way of putting it. I think Garner’s going to be nursing a black eye tomorrow.”

May’s eyes widened. “Phil hit him?” She’d been hiding behind the wall; had only heard not seen the exchange between the two men.

“More than once.”

“You were in the room with them?”

She nodded. “You weren’t.”

“I was down the hall. I heard some of it … “ She trailed off. “Phil hit him,” she repeated quietly, covering her face with her hands. “Oh god.” She collapsed heavily onto the bed beside Skye.

“You know Coulson would do anything to protect you. He loves you as much as you love him.” There was a long silence as both women digested those words. “I know words aren’t your strong suit and you avoid talking if at all possible,” Skye said softly, “but I think a conversation needs to be had. One with more than just the two of them participating in it.”

“I wouldn’t know what to say.” 

The words were whispered and Skye wasn’t entirely sure if May had uttered them or if she’d made them up inside her head. She lifted a tentative hand and touched May’s arm, half expecting to be rebuffed, relieved that she wasn’t. “Just go to Coulson. He’ll know what to say. He always does.”

~ ~ ~ 

She took Skye’s advice as soon as the young woman left the room. Before courage slipped away and wariness set in and she changed her mind. As she knocked on the office door she panicked. _What if they’re both in there? How do I face them both together?_ For as confused as her heart and mind were, she was still well aware there were two things to be dealt with; her feelings and behaviour towards Garner in the past, and her feelings for Coulson in the here and now. 

“Come in.”

She stepped in and shut the door behind her, taking no further steps into the room. She breathed an almost inaudible sigh of relief that Coulson was alone.

“I was hoping you’d come.” Their eyes held one another’s as he rose from his chair.

“I almost didn’t.”

“I would have come to you.” Her hesitation to come further into the room wasn’t lost on him so he crossed the distance to be closer to her, stopping a good six feet away. Close enough for a more intimate chat, far enough not to be in her personal space. He knew her well. “I’ll never stop coming to you when I know you need me.”

“I know.” She licked her lips before beginning. “About your conversation with Andrew earlier … “

“You heard about that?” Anger snapped momentarily behind his eyes and then was gone. “I suppose it’s too small a place to keep anything secret around here.”

“I heard some of it directly.”

He shrugged with shoulders and eyebrows. “I thought it went pretty well, considering.”

“Considering you started off by punching him.”

“A fair comeback for the emotional punch he dealt you.”

“That was my debt to pay, not yours.” 

He could tell she was angry but there was some other emotion there too. He couldn’t quite read it. “You wouldn’t have.” Coulson fiddled with the button on his sleeve absently. “It’s funny. The Agent May most people know has a reputation for being the toughest agent in Shield, a warrior who allows no slack and doesn’t take crap from anyone. Yet Garner is the one person you never stand up to. He can verbally punch you until you’re flat on the ground - and I hope to hell he’s never actually laid a hand on you or punching him in the eye will be the least of what he’s earned from me - and you just take it and crawl meekly away. I get it, I really do, May. I know he’s one of the very few people you’ve let in close enough to mean something to you so his words have power over you. They _hurt_. But I’m not willing to let him get away with repeatedly hurting you. Do you understand? I can’t just stand by and watch him hurt you. Not again.” He rubbed his chest with one fist, seemingly unaware of the action but May understood it all too well. He was rubbing his hurting heart the way she’d done with hers earlier. 

“I understand. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

No, she wouldn’t like him fighting her battles for her. That wasn’t her way. “I know,” he said quietly. “And I apologize for getting in the middle of your fight. If you heard some of what was said, maybe you’ll understand why I did it.”

“You loved me.” It was barely a whisper.

“I did. I’d never met anyone like you, May. You were intelligent and quick thinking, fun-loving and so beautiful it took my breath away. I looked forward to every moment I got to spend with you.”

She took one step forward. “Then why didn’t you tell me how you felt?”

“I was afraid,” he said simply. “What if you hadn’t felt the same way? What if you’d felt uncomfortable knowing and asked for a new partner? I was afraid of losing you.”

“You wouldn’t have.”

He took one step forward. “I know that now.” He half-smiled sadly. “You know what they say about hindsight.”

May sighed. “I’ve got plenty of that.”

“We all do. It’s easy to second-guess your choices after the fact, once you know how it’ll all turn out. If I could go back in time I’d do it differently … but I’m not that man anymore.”

It was like a knife to the heart. He watched as she fell apart right in front of his eyes, the light dying out of her at his words. He realized it the moment he’d uttered them. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, May.” He reached out and took her hands in his, pulling them closer together so only one step separated them. “You said it yourself - I’ve changed. I’m not the man I was before I died. I can’t go back.”

“Only forward,” she whispered, remembering the words she’d said so long ago. 

“I’m not that many anymore and you’re not that woman. We’ve both changed, Melinda. I can’t love that young woman anymore because she doesn’t exist in the way I knew her.” His heart thumped madly in his chest. She was always beautiful but more so in sadness when her eyes shone with unshed tears. It loosened something in him that he’d held firm since day one and the words tumbled out before he could stop them. “I thought when I brought you here that I could find that girl, the one I loved so desperately when we were young. I mourned the loss of her in my life as much as if you’d actually died. In a way you did, in Bahrain; you came out of that experience changed, as I did when I died on the helicarrier. I missed the old May, and for a time I mourned her again, but then I got to know you again, now, and fell in love with you all over again.”

Her eyes widened at the confession but before she could say anything he pressed on. “Again I didn’t say anything because I was afraid of damaging the new friendship we’d begun to build. It was so good, having you here again, working with you, having someone I knew I could trust completely by my side.”

“And then I betrayed that trust.”

He squeezed her hands and shook his head. “No you didn’t. I thought you had and it hurt more than I ever thought anything could. But you were protecting me, just like you always used to. Being the best friend you could be, even knowing what would happen if I found out the truth.”

“I knew you would. I know you, Phil, and I knew you wouldn’t give up once you had a fragment of the truth to run with.”

Tears pricked the backs of his own eyes now. “And I love you all the more for what you sacrificed for me.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t expect you to feel the same way, but I needed to tell you this time. I don’t want to make the same mistake again. God knows life is short and damned unexpected and I don’t want to die again without telling you how I feel.”

“I do,” she whispered. “I do still love you. I’ve never figured out how not to.” Tension crackled then as their eyes held.

“Don’t.” He let go of her hands, his own slipping to her waist and around it, fingers lacing together and pulling her closer so there was no space between them. Her hands slid up his chest to rest one on either side of the scar over his heart. The memory of her pulling aside his open shirt and touching the scar with warm fingers made him smile. He’d known, even then, that he was falling for her again, seeing the gentle, wise, warm, woman beneath the layers of steel she’d coated herself in after Bahrain. She’d been different, even under those layers, but the new May had suited him better now. Still fun in her own way, but more serious, more tenacious, and with a loyalty he knew he’d never find in anyone else. 

Slowly his head inclined towards hers as she lifted her face towards his and their lips touched ever so lightly. There was a gravity to it, a finality that spoke of much more than just a brief kiss. It was the sealing of a vow Coulson hadn’t even realized he’d made - to himself and to her. He rested his forehead against hers and they breathed together, unspeaking, for several minutes. 

“So what do we do now?” she whispered eventually, always practical.

“I suppose staying like this forever isn’t an option.”

She smiled, a rarity, and it warmed him like the sun. “Much as I’d like that, I think I still have a mess to deal with.”

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Garner and I continued our discussion here in private and I think we ended on a good note. I’m assigning him and his team to the Fridge. We need good scientists to pick up the pieces there and to keep order as we move forward. All you have to do now is say goodbye.”

“Is that what _he_ wanted?”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m not making him leave, if that’s what you’re asking. We made our peace with each other but agreed it’s probably for the best if the three of us don’t work here together. He asked if there was somewhere else I could use him.”

“Would you have let him stay if he’d wanted to?”

“We need all the good Shield agents we can find, May. I wouldn’t have turned him away; we’d have just had to figure out how to make it work.”

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you.”

~ ~ ~ 

“Can I s-s-speak with you, sir?”

“Of course.” Coulson paused on his way through the lab. His errand could wait; Fitz wasn’t overly chatty with him at the best of times and since the ocean submersion that had nearly taken his life, he’d been even less so. 

“I’d l-like a … transfer.”

Coulson blinked, completely taken aback. “A transfer? To where?”

“Anywhere.” Fitz shifted his weight self-consciously. “Agent Kramer t-t-told me they were being ass-assigned to the … the … “

“The Fridge,” Coulson supplied, not really wanting to help out but not wanting to see him struggle either.

Fitz nodded. “Yes, The Fridge. I’d like to g-g-go with them.”

“Why?”

Fitz dropped his eyes to the ground. “You know why,” he said softly. 

The lack of stutter didn’t go unnoticed. “You can’t just run when things get tough, Fitz.” His voice was soft and gentle. “I know it’s been hard on you, coming back and fitting in - “

“I need to be away. From Simmons.”

“Fitz - “

“Please.” His eyes came back up, imploring. “For a l-l-little while at least.”

“We need you here, Fitz. There’s no one else that can do what you do.”

“Mack can.”

“Sort of, but he’s not really trained for that.”

“He’ll make d-d-do. Please sir, I don’t want to have to … quit.”

Coulson’s eyebrows twitched. “It’s come to that, has it?”

Fitz nodded. “I can’t stay. Maybe if I … take some t-t-time away I can c-come back.”

May’s words came into his mind then. _You can’t go through a trauma like that and not come out of it changed._ Ward’s actions had changed Fitz’s life. He needed to leave his old self behind and discover who he’d become as a result, and much as it pained him to say goodbye, Coulson knew he had to let go.

“Go then. We’ll pretend you’re on vacation while you use your talents elsewhere. Garner will be lucky to have you working with him. If and when you’re ever ready to come back, there will always be a place for you here.”

“Thank you, sir.” Fitz extended his hand and Coulson shook it warmly, wishing him all the best. The mark of a survivor was someone who could adapt to life’s changes and make something good of them. He hoped with all his heart that Fitz’s time away would help him adapt. He hoped Fitz would be a survivor.

~ ~ ~ 

May’s heart felt heavy and surprisingly sorrowful after saying goodbye to Fitz. Though she’d never really considered him a friend, he’d become family in the almost-year they’d worked together before Hydra’s reveal. They all were, of necessity, each other’s family and while she wouldn’t necessarily miss him on a personal level, she would definitely feel his absence.

As they all would.

Now she stood facing Garner, alone, not knowing how to say goodbye. It wasn’t something she’d ever had much experience with, but particularly not with him, given the way they’d parted years ago. They stared into one another’s eyes for long moments, saying nothing.

“I’m sorry,” Garner eventually said, dropping his eyes.

“Don’t be,” May answered, voice soft and gentle. “I deserved it.”

“No, you didn’t. You’re not a bad person, Melinda, just a very … focused one.”

“Is that a nice way of saying stubborn?” she teased, one side of her mouth pulling up into a half smile.

He smiled back. “No, I’m just saying you’re only able to focus on one thing at a time. I’m just sorry it wasn’t me.”

“I’m sorry too. I wish it could have been.“

“Nevermind, that’s all in the past now. It’s time to move forward.”

She smiled at the words, though she ached inside at the sadness deep in his eyes. “I’m sorry for what happened back then. I wish … I wish things could have been different, but since they can’t I’m just hoping one day you’ll be able to forgive me for what I did to you.”

“Of course, as long as you can forgive me for what I said to you. I was wrong and I’m sorry it hurt you.”

“It’s always easier to see things clearly in hindsight.”

“Yes it is. Now off you go - we all have work to do. Hydra isn’t going to conquer itself and Coulson needs you with him out there on the front lines.” He reached out slowly and took her hands in his. “That’s where you belong. That’s where you’ve always belonged.”

She smiled into his eyes, a mixture of sadness and relief flowing through her. “Take care of Fitz.” Her voice was husky and she cleared it. “He means a great deal to us.”

“I will. Take care of yourself, Mel. Maybe one day we’ll meet again.”

“I hope so.”

She felt his eyes on her as she ascended the ramp into the plane. It was time to head home, back to Coulson. Garner was right - that was exactly where she belonged, on the front lines with Phil Coulson at her side.

~ ~ ~ 

Coulson stood in the hangar bay watching as the plane came down for its landing. His heart thrummed along with the engines, eyes bright as she returned home. _If you love something set it free._ Well he’d done that years ago, what seemed like a lifetime ago now. It had taken a long, long time but she’d eventually come back to him. Second chances were rare but sometimes possible; he was living proof of that, but he had a feeling if he let go this time there wasn’t going to be a third chance with Melinda May.

This time he was going to hold on a whole lot tighter and not let go of her again.

~ fin ~


End file.
